…using our integrated AIM clients, a throwback to a more innocent day before Google had integrated everything, back when using the internet was a challenge, reserved for those select nerds with the wherewithal to master it…
Anonymous, “Sing to me, O Muse, seductively sibilant strains, inspiring my spirit“, 10.8.2009
One of the reasons I wrote about EverQuest this past year was the fact that I miss the Internet of the 1990s. There are plenty of sites out there that try to summarize that time period, describing bland facts about how people used Netscape Navigator over dial-up modems, chatted with AOL Instant Messenger, or chronicling hallmark events (such as Al Gore’s High Performance Computing Act). None of them really capture the essence of the internet, though – how it felt to be part of that early masterpiece of computing technology.
The first thing to note, I suppose, is that the early Internet (and its precursor networks, ARPANet, FIDONet, etc.) were not for the masses. Computing itself was a niche hobby pursued by those with both the intellect and disposable income to invest in it. Computers – even supposedly “mass-market” models such as those released by Commodore in the 1980s – were elite instruments. Not only did they cost more than most high-end stereos and televisions, they were difficult to use. Even computer games were often abstruse affairs, with lengthy puzzle games or RPGs that made full use of the keyboard as an interface for typing commands or using numerous shortcuts. Those with a bent towards more pedestrian electronic gaming were fully served with those put out by Atari or Nintendo; for the others who wanted to do more than just run, jump, and shoot, computers held the key.
The internet, therefore, was only accessible in its early days by those intelligent or driven enough to master its gateway technology. Content on the internet reflected the interests of its user base. While there were jokes and silly pictures (dancing baby gif, anyone?), the general content tended to look more like that collected by a serious librarian than by the village idiot. Yahoo! ruled the online world of content discovery, along with its fellows Altavista and AOL. It provided quick links to high-brow subjects such as Architecture, Literature, College education, Software, Politics, and Law.
Although there is a link for “Humor”, it includes priceless items of incalculable mirth such as (note: links removed; looks like spam infected Archive.org):
- Crate Research & Application Project – utilize crates! More uses than you could possibly imagine – and they are your friends.
- Zits – Dedicated to those pesky little friends of ours, Zits. After causing generations of anxiety in teens and adults, it’s time for a little fun at their expense.
- HAND! – Have A Nice Day! – A monthly publication of clean jokes & quotes.
- Antics: An Ant Thology – anteractive cartoons containing ants.
- News of the Weird – Bizarre Insurance Claims & Lawsuits from the people who know insurance.
- Mimes – page devoted to those silent performing artists, the mimes.
It’s the sort of rollicking barrel of laughs Wally Cleaver would have popped open in glorious shades of black and white. There are no cat videos, no poop or fart jokes, no interviews with urban dunces auto-tuned into catchy songs. It’s the kind of humor you’d find at a convention for nerds sporting thick glasses and pocket protectors.
And…you know what? The Internet was a better place for it. While Google may have automated content aggregation and sort-ranking, it has also fostered the dumbing-down of the internet. When “link popularity” is king, you get content that the average person finds interesting – and, let’s face it, the average person is of very average intelligence. If you type in “Vietnam War”, they’re not interested in a page filled with ten-cent SAT words that astutely discusses the war’s causes, social protest and dissent, and the difficulties that veterans faced trying to re-integrate into American life. They want a two-minute YouTube video that spoon-feeds them the basic gist while showing old-fashioned newsreels of men in fatigues boarding and taking off in an old Huey helicopter. They’ll consider their knowledge on the topic complete enough and move on with their shallow lives.
The other thing I miss about the Internet of old is the simplicity of it all. There were no pop-up ads, tracking cookies, or content personalization. When you browsed the web, you were more or less anonymous unless you chose to tip your hand. Now, your every click and scroll tracked – and the end result is that websites are even slower to load and use today than they were 20+ years ago. You can’t even visit a site to get a recipe without them throwing up a pop-up to sign up for their email newsletter and then automatically playing some video illustrating obscure food preparation techniques. Websites are filled with endless bloat, and the web is less usable because of it.
I miss the days when someone would put up a page about topics like butterfly collecting not because they aspired to become some rich and famous entomologist, but merely to express their enthusiasm and educate their fellow savants about a favorite hobby. It’s sad to me that so few sites today dive deep into a subject matter, but flit across the surface and wallow in the shallows like an infant that cannot swim. Being on the internet today makes you feel a little dirty, a little unwashed, like you’ve just stepped down into the gutter and spashed about in septic sewage. In the 1990s, it felt more like you’d entered into a secret clubhouse where all the smart, cool kids were having an incredible amount of witty, erudite fun. Not completely – there was pornography and other sordid content, for sure (usually on sites with black backgrounds) – but there was a whole lot more signal compared to the noise. We’ll never get back to these days – it’s too late, and I almost fear that we’ll forget that those days ever existed. I wanted to leave this brief lament in my own small and forsaken corner of the Internet to commemorate that time – to remember it and celebrate it for the golden era which we only now in retrospect can see that we had.